I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
