You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
please don't ironically join a cult
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