if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
