And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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