You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
