I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
