How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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