i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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