I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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