So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
