Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
