Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize