You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
