this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
