hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
