I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
