I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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