I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
