Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
