Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
