Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
