the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
