I wish my penis had an off switch
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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