2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize