Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
