The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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