I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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