his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
