Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
