I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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