Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
