he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
