Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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