I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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