dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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