He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize