I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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