That's intense
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
