Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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