My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
