i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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