Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
