my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize