I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize