Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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