Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
