My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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