I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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