I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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