She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize