Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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