There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
