I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
