Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
