Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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