i think my tv is drunk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
