problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
