Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
