Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
