Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
