I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
