Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
