i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
