butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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