i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
