maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
