I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
try to milk me bitch
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize