Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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