woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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